From High School to Dorm Room: A Mom’s Survival Guide
Let’s be honest — no one warned us how fast this would come. One minute we’re packing school lunches and watching high school football games, and the next? We’re shopping for twin XL sheets and wondering how to fit a lifetime of love into two plastic storage bins.
If you’re reading this, chances are your baby is about to leave the nest. And whether they’re headed 10 minutes down the road or flying across the country, the moment feels massive. The shift from high school to dorm life doesn’t just belong to them — it belongs to us, too. We’re not just packing bags; we’re preparing to let go in the most loving way possible.
If you’re a mom preparing for your teen’s first year of college, this guide is for you. Part practical, part emotional, and 100% real — because we’re all in this together.
So here’s what I’ve learned — from one mom to another.
Start Early, Shop Smart
The dorm room shopping craze is real. Pinterest is telling us that our girls have to have a perfectly coordinated room or you need a themed dorm to succeed. But here’s the truth: they don’t need everything, and you don’t have to break the bank…yes, I know I share all sorts of deals on my Facebook group (Dorm Life On A Budget) but let’s be practical here. Don’t give in to the pressure, buy what your teen needs and not wants.
Start early, not to overspend, but to avoid last-minute panic buying. Make a simple checklist, focusing on essentials first: bedding, storage, lighting, and laundry supplies. If you’re on a budget (and most of us are), then keep on checking my Facebook group. I constantly share deals on Dorm Essentials. You’ll have to prioritize what is needed and what’s an extra. A second set of sheets? Lifesaver. A mini ironing board? Waste of space.
When in doubt, ask parents who’ve already done it. Their advice is gold.
Teach the Life Skills — Now
As we focus on what to pack, don’t forget what’s not so easy to fit in a suitcase: life skills. It sounds obvious, but so many students show up to college unsure of how to do their own laundry, manage their money, or advocate for themselves.
Quick tip: Take a quick round to your school’s laundry room on move-in day and take a photo. You’ll need it later when they’ll message asking you where the detergent goes.
Spend some time over the summer showing your teen how to wash clothes, use a calendar to manage assignments, refill a prescription, and cook basic microwave meals (even if it’s just ramen and oatmeal). Have a look at our quick and easy meals for college students article here. These lessons are just as critical as anything on their class schedule. You’re not being overbearing — you’re equipping them to stand on their own.
And yes, they’ll roll their eyes. But they’re listening more than you think and haven’t you gotten just to it by now.
Move-In Day is a Whole Thing
No matter how prepared you are, move-in day will sneak up on you. It’s chaotic and exciting and emotionally intense — not just for your teen, but for you.
You’ll carry bins up too many flights of stairs, help make a bed in a room that somehow already feels too small, and try to say everything in the last 10 seconds before goodbye. You’ll fight back tears (or maybe you won’t). You’ll worry if you did enough. You’ll wonder if they’re really ready.
But here’s the part no one tells you: they are ready, because of you. You raised them with love and resilience. You showed them how to face the world, one packed lunch and pep talk at a time. You don’t have to say it all in that final moment — they already know.
I slipped a handwritten note into my son’s pillowcase before we left. Nothing fancy. Just a reminder that I believe in him and that I’ll always be a phone call away. He didn’t mention it right away, but later that week, I got a simple text: “Thanks for the note, Mom.” And that was enough.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel Everything
In the weeks after drop-off, you’ll probably feel a strange mix of pride, sadness, relief, and quiet grief. That’s normal. That’s love.
Some days you’ll be totally fine. Other days you’ll hear a song or walk by their empty room and feel your throat tighten. You may second-guess yourself. You may miss the noise, the laundry piles, even the slammed doors. But you’ll also start to find new rhythms — and when they call to tell you about their first class, or a new friend, or what they had for dinner (finally something other than pizza), your heart will swell.
This is not the end of your parenting journey — it’s just a new, beautiful chapter. One where you get to watch them become who they were always meant to be.
So to all the moms reading this: you’re not alone. Don’t hold back your tears, you’re allowed an extra 5 second hug today. And remember your love and effort matter more than any checklist ever could. You’ve done the hard work. Now it’s their turn to fly.
